“Quit looking forward to the next break in your life and just enjoy the Tuesdays before they run out.”
I think one thing we all have in common as humans is the idea of happiness. We all just want to be happy. The problem, I think, is that for so many of us, happiness always seems to be somewhere else.
I’ve seen this in myself. I’ll tell myself, “Oh, I’ll be happy when this school assignment is over”, “I’ll be happy when I have a boyfriend”, “I’ll be happy when I move out”.
I’ve been keeping a journal consistently since the 8th grade. I read through them often, and it’s weird seeing how different all those phases of my life were and how different I was. Life changes fast-and change is good, but wow it hurts. When I go through journal entries and photos from the past few years, I ache to go back to those moments. I ache to go back to 8th grade and watch episodes of Lost in my history teacher’s classroom during my lunch hour. I ache to go back to freshman year and play a round of tossups with my quiz bowl team. I ache to go back to last year, wear my annoying, meticulous AHA uniform and go to Sonic with my friends after school.
I told myself that I was happier then, and for so long, I spent my time wishing and hoping I could go back to those times.
“I’d be happy if I could go back.”
But I’m realizing now that it won’t be long until I move out and move on and ache to be where I am now.
I’ll miss going to school everyday and smiling at that cute boy on the way to third hour.
I’ll miss waiting in the parking lot of the sports complex for my brother to come running after his soccer practice.
I’ll miss living 5 minutes away from my best friend Hannah and our spontaneous Target trips.
I’ll miss hearing my sister pluck the piano keys of her new intricate Bach piece in the formal room.
I’ll miss going to church every Sunday and getting a hug from my Sunday school teacher after her lessons.
I’m beginning to realize that those things, those moments, however small and insignificant they may seem, make me happy. I’m beginning to realize that happiness isn’t just going to come to me. It won’t be something that I’ll haphazardly stumble upon one day in the future.
I’ve found happiness now- right where I am. And that’s something everyone ought to realize, sooner rather than later.
“We would do well to slow down a little, focus on the significant and truly see the things that matter most.”
a (very short) collection of tiny, happy moments:
ditching a ward party to jam out in the car. typical of kylie and me. freshman year
boone dressed up for church with his pocket square, lapel pin, a twisted tie, and 2 (TWO) watches. take notes, boys.
lake powell pit stop for ice cream and root beer floats.
bella, my best friend from that arts school in the mountains i went to freshman year.
one of our many, many shopping trips.
everytime scott and kylie come over, they bring a pile of books and ask me to read to them. don’t skip pages, they always know when you do.
hannah, a real one, who drove 25 minutes away to get me balloons at party city.
suns out, tounges out.